THE FULTON COUNTY ADVISOR
This Week’s Edition: 1-13-2024
Headline: “HAUNTAHK BLOODLINE? LOCAL WOMAN NOW CLAIMS SHE’S PART-CRYPTID!”
From the archives. Contributor: Spence Hutchins, Curator of the Fulton Hills Historical Society.
By Melandre Combs
Well, folks, just when you thought the Hauntahk Baby Mama saga couldn’t get any stranger… buckle up!
Remember our anonymous local woman who claimed she was impregnated by the legendary Hauntahk and later watched it take their baby back into the woods? Well, she’s back with another wild twist: she now says she’s part Hauntahk herself! That’s right—according to her, she’s got the blood of the beast running through her veins.
A Strange Evolution
The woman (still refusing to give her name but now affectionately nicknamed “Tahk Baby Mama” by online fans) claims her newfound revelation came after an online reader, identified only as Whitney, reached out to her. According to our source, Whitney suggested that the woman’s mysterious connection to the Hauntahk might not have started with the alleged baby, but with her own genetics.
“She asked me if I’d ever felt ‘different,’” the woman said in an exclusive interview with The Advisor. “And, you know, I always have. Like, I’ve always had this deep connection to nature, and sometimes, I’ll be out in the woods and just… know things. Like where animals are without seeing them. It all makes sense now.”
The woman now claims to experience “Hauntahk-like abilities,” which she describes as heightened senses and the ability to move more quietly than the average person. “I even tried eating raw fish,” she admitted. “It felt… natural.”
Who’s Whitney?
Whitney, the supposed online supporter who planted this idea, has not been identified or reached for comment. However, her influence seems to have deeply impacted the Tahk Baby Mama’s beliefs.
“She said that maybe the Hauntahk recognized me as one of its own,” the woman explained. “I mean, it makes sense, doesn’t it? Why else would it pick me?”
Questions of Credibility
As usual, cryptid experts aren’t buying it. Maggie Arliss rolled her eyes so hard during our phone call, I thought she might sprain something. “This is pure fantasy,” she said bluntly. “There’s no evidence—none—to suggest Hauntahk-human hybrids exist, much less that someone could inherit traits from a creature we can’t even confirm is real.”
Other skeptics suggest Whitney’s influence is a key piece of the puzzle. “It sounds like this woman is being fed ideas by someone who thrives on stirring the pot,” said Dr. Raymond Kline, a psychologist specializing in belief systems. “When you already believe the extraordinary, it’s easy for suggestions to feel like revelations.”
The Final Twist
In a surprising (but maybe not shocking) development, the Tahk Baby Mama is now under the care of Crystal Falls Sanitarium. Law enforcement sources have confirmed she was taken into custody earlier this week following an incident where she reportedly attempted to “commune” with the Hauntahk by leaving fish offerings outside a local playground.
“She’s receiving care and is under heavy medication,” said an unnamed source. “We hope this is the start of her getting the help she needs.”
A Cryptid Legacy?
While some might dismiss her story outright, others argue that tales like these keep the legend of the Hauntahk alive. Whether you believe in cryptid bloodlines or not, it’s clear the Hauntahk has a way of getting under people’s skin—literally, in this case!
For now, this chapter of the Tahk Baby Mama’s tale seems to be closed, but something tells me we haven’t heard the last of her. Or Whitney. Or the Hauntahk.